PENS vs. CANES GAME #4 TONIGHT

The Penguins could win the right to play for the Stanley Cup tonight, but it was brought to my attention from my pals over at Steeler Fury that Coach Cowher is scheduled to sound the Carolina Hurricanes' pregame "warning siren" at the RBC Center before Game 4 of the Eastern Conference finals at 7:30 p.m. The Penguins have a commanding 3-0 lead in the best-of-seven series.

Well, good luck with your little "warning siren" there Bill. With the Canes down 3 games, a "warning siren" is pretty apropo. I'm guessing it's the equivalent of the band playing "Nearer My God To Thee" on the deck of the Titanic as she sinks.

When Fans Go Crazy (Part #1)

My friends at PGH put this up a week or so ago and I was intrigued by the nature of it, so I posted it. Here's a tip for some of you younger, more inexperienced fans who's testosterone levels improve with every 32 oz. Yuengling you chug. After crashing the glass in the penalty box and taking your first 15 rabbit punches to the face you will quickly realize that you are not invincible against a professional athlete. Honestly, it's probably a better idea to stay in the stands. Unless they come up into the stands to find you that is.

Happy Memorial Day!

Happy Memorial Day to all ... and HUGE thank you to all of our service men and women out there at home and abroad who made the choice to serve our country over the many other self-serving things they could be doing with their time.

Sorry about the half-ass empty links at the top. I upgraded the page template for Tomlin's Crib to a 3 column format and decided I didn't like it, so I started moving a few things around and suddenly realized, "Wow, I really suck at HTML and am really fucking this thing up." So needless to say, I went back to a 2 column format slightly enhanced.



Not too much has been has been going on in the world of sports and entertainment this week. Well, other than the sensational play of the PENS of course. Sid "the kid" is playing "lights out" hockey right now and Gino ... wow, what can I say about Gino! The man is playing like it's a "him against the world" all-out assult on anyone who steps in his path. I'm diggin the playoffs, but I'll be honest. I'm not sure I'm a Versus fan. I miss me some Mike Lang and all his Lang'isms. There's nothing like hearing,"Get in the fast lane Grandma, the Bingo is about to start!" .. or "Call Arnold Slick from Turtle Crick!"

or these gems:

"Oh, buy Sam a drink and get his dog one too!"
"I'll never teach a pig to sing!"
"Michael Michael Motorcycle!"
"Oh Eddy Spaghetti!"
"She wants to sell my monkey!"
"He beat him like a rented mule!"
"Scratch my back with a hacksaw!"
"He didn't know whether to cry or wind his watch!"
"That's his first goal since the eighth grade picnic!"
"Get in the fast lane grandma, the bingo game is on a roll!"
"Ah you ain't nothin' but a hound dog"
"And ladies and gentlemen the kitchen is closed!" "Donna needs a doughnut!"

and lastly ...

"Oh Lord Stanley, Lord Stanley get me the brandy!"

I thought I'd close with some insane puck handling skills from Sid. Check out this insanity. Sid is on the ice just abusing Lemieux's son Austin in a little one-on-one:



Here's another that shows the control he has over the puck. Sick!



That's all I got. It's Memorial Day .. you should be outside doing something anyhow.

James Harrison's Pit Bull Attacks Son

The son of Steelers linebacker James Harrison has been attacked by Harrison’s own dog, according to WTAE-TV in Pittsburgh. On-line stories being posted on the incident indicate that James love's him some pit bull as the family pet.

Per WTAE, Harrison’s son was transported to Children’s Hospital in Pittsburgh with “severe” dog bite injuries. The injuries reportedly are not life threatening.

A Steelers spokesman told WTAE that the team is aware of the situation.

Our thoughts and prayers go out to Harrison’s son for a full, complete, and rapid recovery.

Queue the Michael Vick jokes in 3, 2, 1 .....

I for one am tired of pitt bulls and thier rightous and apathetic owners who are quick to defend the animal saying, "It's all how you raise the animal" ... BULLSHIT! ... and PETA too, I almost forgot, I'm tired of them too .... Since it's Friday I say, "Fuck them all!"

The Steelers Visit the White House

Very nice words from the Commander in Chief to our World Champion Pittsburgh Steelers! ....I'll excuse the fact that he's a Bears fan because the Bears, like the Steelers, are a franchise rich in football history. I can respect that.

And The Winner Is? . . .

Fuck American Idol. No seriously, did any of you watch that season finale? I don't care if he is an EMO fag, why should anyone even care about that shit in this day and age? This was about singing. Adam Lambert was by far the more talented singer and should have won that competition hands down. The most entertaining event of the night had to be the Round #2 smackdown between Idol judge Kera Dioguardi and Bikini Girl.



The duet ended with Dioguardi totally blowing Bikini girl off the stage vocally, then closing the number by ripping her dress off to show America her own 38 years old buffed little package in a bikini! ... NICE!

Damn, who knew that bod was under those clothes all this time?

Ok, so enough with that. Can you tell we're officially in the slowest and most boring fucking stretch of the offseason? Yep, it's the dreaded post-draft period. There’s no fucking football on, and there won’t be any football on for quite some time unless you're that hard up to be watching retro throwback games on the NFL channel with the fucked up graphics that remind you of your 1st Tecmo Football game. You’re angry. You feel the anxiety eating you alive. You’re not pleasant to be around, sometimes even hateful. We understand. At Tomlin's Crib, we're here to take the edge off a little. No, we're not pushing pot or painkillers, but we do offer things like this, and this. And on occassion, maybe even a little bit of that.

We also have the Playoff Pens too! ... GO PENS! ... Better yet, in about 2 minutes we're about to take a 2 game lead on the Cains just as soon as these guys are done beating the shit out of each other.

I'm not just feeling Cup, I'm feeling more rings in Pittsburgh! Bring it home boys, bring it home.

China Jack is BACK!

China Jack's back once again with his interpretive re-enactment of the Game 7 win over the Caps. Pens opened the series with the Caroling Hurricanes last night with a 3-2 win.

LET'S GO PENS!



On another note, guess who appears to be a Hurricane fan as seen here cranking the siren?












and guess who's not?


Needless to say, we know who's cooler. I like our chances.

Take One Last Look at this Ugly Mug

Because it's the last time you'll see him on ESPN's Monday Night Football.

Pardon the interruption while I inform you of the long awaited, much anticipated firing of Tony Kornheiser from the MNF broadcast booth. What's that you say? .... "What took them so long?" .... Well, I can only assume they needed to find just the right asshole that says things that annoy people and becomes a loud mouth personality that everyone hates, but they become a ratings grabber so ESPN excuses the assholish'ness. Ahhhh haaaa! ... found 'em.

I'm not going to rip Chucky too bad here because Kornheiser was that bad. Actually, this could be fun to watch play out. Let's see how long it takes for a player to get caught up in the moment and punch Gruden in the face for saying something he shouldn't have.

Perhaps "Chuck" can now force Al Michaels into retirement!